Understanding
by kakashipwns
Summary: What happens when a girl who's just like Ponyboy comes around, and her brother is just like Dallas? Read...it's better then the summary, I know.
1. DISCLAIMER

DISCLAIMER!!!!

I only own Lynn, Russ, and the other few characters you don't recognize.

I realize I spelt some names wrong, and Ill get right on that.

Also, this story does not follow the book, Im guessing its some time before the book, because Im already writing a sequel, that has to do with the book.

Happy reading, deuces!


	2. Dirty ol' Sneakers

(A/N I don't own The Outsiders, but I can dream can't I?)

I could feel the sun hitting my back walking to my new school. I hadn't given much thought of Tulsa until we moved here. I was so used to living in Dallas that I seemed to forget about, or not care about the rest of the world. Mom made me move here with her, I understood because Dad was a horrible man, and I often felt it was my fault he hit her the way he did. I grew up with my older brothers Jerry and Russell; they made me tough like I was. I knew now, at 17, I wasn't going to back down from a fight, I was undefeated in Dallas, and I'm pretty sure Tulsa wasn't as bad. I walked in through the large doors, and made my way toward the door that had 'Office' written on it. I opened and a plump woman around the age of 40 sat in the front desk.

"Can I help you?" she was obviously eyeing what I was wearing.

I had on my tight fitted black shirt, and some tight blue jeans, and my dirty old sneakers. I hadn't had money to buy clothes since I got a chest, so I've had the same thing since I was 13.

"I'm new, Lynn Rhodes."

She looked at me again, and motioned for me to sit down, so she could look through the files on her desk. I sifted in my seat and my long dark red curls kept bouncing across my back. My hair fell to the middle of my back, most of the time, I tied it up, but today wasn't one of those times. I fixed my dark green eyes on the folder she was currently looking at, which I noticed was mine.

"Rhodes," I got up and walked over to her.

"Here's your schedule, your first class is just down this hall, good luck."

I grabbed the paper, what the hell was that all about luck? I just noted her as some stupid old hag. I searched the hall in the direction she pointed, and found my room. Great, it's about time to get this over with. I stepped in and all, what felt like thousand eyes were on me.

"You must be Lynn; do you see the boy in the back with the Mickey Mouse shirt?"

I nodded my head, "good, see the empty desk next to him, you can sit there."

I made my way to the back, and the teacher started talking again. I looked over to the boy and he had some rusty colored sideburns, which seemed to be the first thing you'd notice, I mean they stick out. He flashed a smile my way, and I gave a weak one back. He seemed to squirm in his seat the whole damn time we were in there. As soon as the bell rang he turned to me and flashed another smile. I jetted out of the door, and found my second class, and I already knew today was going to be a long day.

After school had let out I was walking down the street toward home when I noticed a car following me. I was used to this back home, it meant you were gonna get beat, but It only happened to people in gangs there, apparently it happened to anyone here. I started to walk diagonally across the park and four boys got out of the car and started following me. I felt myself tighten up, and I turned to face them dropping my bag. If I was going to be beat, I wasn't gonna go down with a fight.

"Your new here, we gotta teach you where the grease girls belong," said one with blonde hair.

"I say we slap her around a few times, then teach her how a soc is better then a grease," said the one with the dark curly hair.

They all started walking toward me, and I never even tried to back away.

"She doesn't even look scared, why don't we just put the fear in her," the blonde said again, by now he seemed to resemble a monkey to me.

I felt one of them grab my arm, and I swung my other one and it hit him in the face. He was down, but not out, they all lunged at me at once, and I felt my legs tighten and glue to the spot. I hit another with a free arm, and two other ones, pushed me and held me to the ground. The blonde was holding my arms down and the curly guy was holding my legs. I noticed the one I had punched earlier come over and sit on my stomach. I felt all the air fade away, and I thought I was going to suffocate.

"How dare a filthy little bitch like you hit me," his fist connected with my nose.

Oh man, this is going to hurt in the morning, was what first came to mind.

"Shit, Bob here comes Winston," I heard the curly one say.

"Let's go then, fuck her, we'll get her again some other time," and with that they were all gone.

I sucked in the hugest breathe of air I possibly could, and I noticed some boots standing beside me.

"I ain't ever seen a broad hit like that."

I didn't even look up as I lifted the bottom of my shirt up to my nose.

"I ain't just any broad."

I was still dabbing at my nose, and I grabbed my bag and started my way toward home. I could hear extra foot steps behind me so I turned around to see him. A boy who looked a little older then me, he had almost wheat blonde hair, which I thought went good with his face structure. I stood and waited for him to catch up, I lit up a smoke, and he seemed to drag ass.

When he finally reached me, he noticed that I was smoking and asked for a light. He walked alongside me for awhile, until I got to the front steps of my house, which to me looked like it was falling apart.

I turned back to the boy who just stood there looking, "thanks."

I usually didn't say thanks to anyone from busting me up from a fight, but what were the odds of me laying out four guys who seemed so huge to my little self.

"Anytime, kid. I guess I'll see ya around."

I nodded and headed up the steps only to be yelled at by my mother for my clothes being so dirty. I told her what had happened and she just told me 'at least it's not Dallas, you coulda been killed.' I launched myself onto my bed, and I stared out the window, I can't wait for sunset, I think I'll walk back to the park. I was hoping none of those boys were still there.


	3. Sunsets on the Monkey Bars

The sun was starting to fade away, and I quickly made my way to the park, and sat on top of the monkey bars. I liked watching sunsets, it seemed to be the only thing beautiful in this world to me, and I could never guess why. I grew up with an alcoholic dad, and he enjoyed beating us. Jerry always told Russ and me as soon as he had money he'd come get us out of what we called hell. It wasn't until after Russ had moved away that mom started getting hit along with me. It was my sixteenth birthday that Russ came to visit, and he had been gone for about a year. I also found out that Jerry had gotten killed somewhere in Oklahoma City. Russ had never seen me cry until that day. So much for sweet sixteen, huh?

"Do you care if I sit with you up there?"

I was bounced from my thoughts when I looked at the ground below my feet to see a boy with dark hair.

"Not at all, kid, it's a free country."

He climbed his way up and sat next to me, "you watch sunsets too?"

I nodded his way, pulling out a smoke and lighting it up, "it seems to be the only beautiful thing this world has to offer."

"There's more beauty in this world, you just have to look for it."

He lit up a smoke too, and we both looked as the sky had fallen to dark, and the sun was no longer visible. I jumped down from where I was sitting, and noticed two guys walking our way.

They started screaming things at the boy, and they grabbed him by his feet and made him land on the ground hard. If there was one thing my brothers taught me, it's to fight fair. It gets messy when you don't and seeing how these two boys were gonna gang up on one, I thought it not fair at all.

I looked when I noticed them both towering over the boy, and saying obscene thing's like 'can you get this message across to Dally?'

The one with darker hair immediately punched sunset boy in the face, and he fell back onto the ground. They were both over him kicking him, and I started to walk towards them. I punched one guy in the side of his head really hard, I know where all the tender spots are, and the other guy came towards me, but I punched him in the side of the head too. They were both sprawled out, and I reached down and took a ring of one of their fingers, and put it on mine, then I put my hand out for the boy to take.

"Thanks, I thought they were gonna finish me, never seen a girl fight like that."

"I'm not just any girl, you try growing up with cold as ice older brothers."

He held his hand over his nose, which I noticed was bleeding, "I'm Ponyboy Curtis, by the way."

"Lynn Rhodes."

We started to walk away, and I found myself following him into a house, which I assumed was his. The older guy sitting in the chair looked up, and yelled, "what the hell happened, Pony?"

"Lee and Jessie came to the park, I woulda been done in if it wasn't for Lynn here," he said finding some cloth to put under his nose.

"Who is Lynn?"

I stepped forward, I guess he expected some huge guy, but when he saw me, a small girl, he looked quite confused.

"I'm Lynn," I said barely above a whisper.

He put his hand out for a shake, "I'm Darry, Ponyboy's older brother. Do you mind telling me how the hell you stood up to those two idiots?"

"I grew up in Dallas, so I guess that helps?" I asked not too convinced.

Darry immediately went to help Ponyboy out, and I stood in the living room by myself, in an awkward state. Ponyboy returned a few minutes later and told me to sit on the couch, which I did, and he sat next to me.

"So, Lynn, how old are you?"

"I just turned 17, you?"

"14, I'm the baby of the gang, although Johnny is the kid."

I looked at him funny, then heard the screen door open, and looked to my right. There stood a boy, who looked like he could be a movie star.

"Hey Pony, who's your friend?"

"Oh, this is Lynn. Lynn this is my other brother Sodapop."

I had to seem that they were nicknames, but then again, some people were original. Soda, which is his nickname, talked to us for a bit, then left for a date. I sat on the couch with Pony, until we heard the screen door again. I looked up to see the guy that walked me home earlier that day.

"Hey Pone, is Johnny here?"

"Nah, I haven't seen him since earlier, he should be coming around anytime."

The guy looked my way, "who is your friend Pone?"

"This is Lynn, Lynn this is Dally."

I looked up and he looked at me like he hated me. That's fine when people hate you, things get really messy if you have emotions, I should know. He trailed across the room, and asked where Darry was. Pony said he had already gone to sleep, and he had homework to do. He left me in the room alone with Dally.

"So, where you from kid?"

"Dallas," I seemed to find my hands quite interesting.

"No shit? My names Dallas, never been there, but I heard some things."

"Oh yeah, like what?"

"I used to know this kid, I don't even remember his name now, but he told me all about the gangs you got there. No wonder you fight like a grown man."

"The stories are nothing compared to living there."

He seemed to soften at this, "neither is New York."

I snorted a bit, "New York was just some fun to me."

"You been there? When?"

"I went there a few years back with my brothers. We stayed with some guy named Felix, and his broad Lisa. She was an idiot in my opinion, kept telling me I'd never whoop her ass. I proved it to her, proved to her Dallas was harder on you, then people think."

He seemed at a daze for a minute, "you know Felix Ponce? What's your brothers names, I bet I heard about 'em."

"Jerry and Russell Rhodes."

"No shit? I knew Jerry, he was a great guy, kept me out of trouble a few good times. How is he now?"

I started to look away, you don't tear up in front of a guy, or anyone. That makes you a softie, and that is what I am not.

"Jerry got killed a year ago."

The silence was immediately welcomed and I felt like I could finally talk about him without losing it. I had never cried about a beating or anything else. When Jerry died, it was different. Jerry was the oldest, nicest, best big brother ever. He got me out of so much shit, I was surprised he never went in for someone else committing murder. That someone else being Russ. Russ was nothing like Jerry, he was tough, he loved to fight, brag about fighting, winning, and anything that went along with being a hood. He was feared by everyone, yet respected by them too. Russ was someone you didn't mess with, and you didn't mess with anyone close to him. He wasn't always angry about something, when it came to me, he had a little soft spot for me. I was the baby, and his baby sister. He listened when I talked, and made everyone else in the room shut their traps. I learned quick growing up, if I wanted to survive, I had to follow him. He was the first one to teach me how to fight. Jerry taught me to fight too, said I'd need it one day. Jerry was content, unless someone messed with him, then he did what he knew he had to do, he'd lay them out. Jerry wasn't always nice or sweet, sometimes he'd get so angry he'd leave the house hours at a time, and beat people for stress relief. I knew it was only because he had a bad temper, and didn't want Russ and I to see him fly off the handle.


	4. Johnny, the Kid

I was shook from my thoughts when the screen door opened again. He had brown skin, and big black eyes. I immediately thought of a lost puppy or something. He had a nervous streak about him, and he looked from Dally to me.

"It's alright Johnny. This is Lynn, Pony's new friend. She was just telling me about herself."

Johnny looked a little surprised, then found a seat at the other end of the couch. I could tell already that he gets beat at home. After so many years of it happening to you, you start to notice it on other people.

"Lynn, this is Johnny, the kid."

"Hi Johnny," I said smiling a bit his way.

"Hey," he said barely above a whisper.

We sat in silence again, and I got up to find Pony and tell him I had to get home. He was sitting at a desk, which I thought to be in his room.

"Hey Pony, Ima head out, maybe I'll catch ya at school tomorrow," I said leaning against the door.

"That's cool, make someone walk home with ya though, I think someone might already be after ya."

I nodded and turned back to walk to the door.

"Nice meeting you guys, I'll see ya around."

Dally waved, but Johnny jumped up, "I'll walk ya home."

I nodded and then we walked out of the fence, when I saw the guy from class who smiled at me walking our way.

"Say Johnny, who is this? Your new girlfriend?"

I saw Johnny blush a bit, "no, Two-Bit, I just wanted to walk her home."

"Sounds like a girlfriend to me. Hey, your in my class, right?"

"Yeah."

"Two-Bits my name, your Lynn, right?"

"Yeah," I shook his hand.

"Not really my type, I go for blondes, but you lookin' good baby," he had the goofiest grin on his face, I just had to bust out laughing.

"Did I say something funny, Johnnycake?"

He shrugged, and I tried my hardest to cool it.

"Nah, but, you ain't really my type either."

He put a hand over his heart, "that hurts."

"Well, Two-Bit I gotta get going, the old man wants me home soon," Johnny's sweet voice filled the air.

"Alright, be careful," he pointed to him, "I'll be seeing ya around."

We started walking away and I turned around and hollered at Two-Bit, "oh and Two-Bit, I'm lookin' good all the time."

He smiled, "you dig okay baby!"

Johnny and I walked until we came upon the steps at my house, we lit up a cancer stick and shared it between us.

"So how long has your folks been hittin' ya?"

He looked down, "how'd you know?"

I pulled up my shirt to reveal a huge bruise on one of my ribs, "my dad used to beat me all the time."

He looked like he wanted to touch it to see if it was real, and I told him he could. As soon as I could feel his fingers on my skin, I gasped.

"How long ago has it been?" he asked.

"Not long, a few days, I believe. How old are you, Johnny?"

"16, I turn 17 in about 8 months, you?"

"I just turned 17, you know, if you ever wanna get out, you can come here. My mom won't say anything, she knows how it is, she got smacked around a lot too. Plus, we have an extra bed in my room," I pointed to my window, "so if you ever need me, and it's late, just tap there. I'm a light sleeper most of the time."

He looked at me and I could see he actually took advice from my words, "thanks. I try to get out of there as much as possible. I sleep in the lot most of the time. I don't like to bother people, I just don't feel they know what I'm going through."

I ruffled his hair a bit, "I know, personally. 'Sides, you shouldn't be freezing your ass off on a slab of cement, or grass. You got a nice warm bed here, as long as you need it."

I said bye to Johnny, and watched him slowly make his way down the street until he was about 3 houses down, and walked inside. I went in to find my mom passed out on the couch, with a bottle hanging from her hand. I took a quick shower and went to bed, I had school in the morning.


	5. Enter Russ

I woke up to my mom yelling at me to get out of bed, which I slowly did. Johnny walked with me to school, after I darted out of the house when he was walking by. I think I scared him a bit, because he nearly jumped outta his skin.

"Chill Johnny, it's just me. You wanna walk with me to school?"

He nodded, and we made our way back to the great big doors, that I already decided to hate. Two-Bit wasn't much help in class, he mainly sat there, eyeing the teacher cracking jokes. By the end of class, I thought Mr. Strom was gonna pull his hair out, but I ended up laughing anyway. Two-Bit told me to meet him at the front of the school for lunch. I did just that, while Pony and Johnny walked up to me. Two-Bit came around a bit later with a boy who was taller then him, with red greasy hair.

"Steve, this is Lynn, the one I told you about. Lynn this is Steve, the last member of the gang for you to meet."

I shook his hand, "I'm hungry."

Two-Bit just smiled, and started cracking jokes, and walked us to the nearby gas station, where I saw Soda again. Soda and Steve seemed lost in their own world about cars and girls, so I just sat next to Johnny and talked with him and Pony. I saw a guy coming our way, he was tall and his hair was really greasy too.

Two-Bit hopped in front of us, "hey Curly, how's it goin'?"

"Good, who's the broad?" he asked pointing to me.

"Oh, that's Lynn, Johnny's girl." I wanted to protest, when Johnny looked like he was gonna burst with blush. I kinda chuckled to myself, and nudged him in the side.

"Is that so? You mean to tell me, shy ol' Johnny bagged a fly?" (A/N FLY WAS SLANG FOR PRETTY GIRL)

"Somehow, I tried to pick 'er up but, she said I wasn't her type, can you believe that?" he turned around a bit smiling at me.

"Oh shut up will ya, Two-Bit."

The words were out before I could clamp my hand over my mouth. I hope I didn't just mess up, 'sides I'm not Johnny's girl.

"Shuttin'. So, what's ya need Curly?"

Curly took him by the shoulder and they walked off to the side talking between themselves. Pony and I started talking about a book we both liked, and Johnny sat silently. I already knew by now, he was the gangs pet, everyone protected him. I was guessing it had to do with his home life, and they all knew. Our walk back to school seemed much like the one away, Two-Bit cracked jokes, everyone laughed, and I even heard Johnny laugh a few times. His laugh was rare, because everyone seemed to turn to him.

"Shit, I should become a comedian, I even made Johnnycake laugh."

No one gave much thought to this and we headed back in for the remainder of the day. I met up with the guys after school, and Johnny and I walked home together again. I slung my bag down, and I thought I heard someone in my mom's room. Deciding it was nothing, she was a work anyways, I turned on the t.v. to one channel: boring. I kept thinking I was hearing things so I made my way down the hall toward her room. I opened to reveal none other then the boy with dark red hair, greased back, with green eyes just like mine.

"What're you doing here, Russ?"

He got up and came across the room, and gave me a slight hug, which was odd, even from him to his baby sister.

"Mom asked me to come down for awhile, said maybe you'd have a better time adjustin' or somethin'."

"I'm adjustin' quite fine, seriously, what are you doing here?"

By now we were both back in the living room, and he sat in the chair across from the couch.

"Did you get in a murder rap again?"

He stayed silent, which usually meant yes.

"How'd it happen, and where?"

"New York, went and saw Felix. His broad Lisa left him while he was in the cooler. I was up there, and he went hay wire on me. He pulled out his knife, and I tried to get it away from him, but I accidentally stabbed him. I just beat it outta there as fast I could."

Felix was dead, and it was Russ's fault, how'd I know this was gonna happen one day? Russ was just like Dally from what I was told, he had a rap sheet a mile long, it'd probably be longer, if they caught him on everything. Russ was real good at never gettin' caught, he knew places to hide, and people to get a hold of.

"So, how long you gonna be around here?"

"A few weeks tops, then I'll go back to Dallas, although there really isn't much left there for me, huh?"

I noticed he kept jerkin on the necklace around his neck. I gave that to him a long time ago, I stole it off some broad I beat. It wasn't expensive, but I knew the score. Always get something from a fight you've won, just to prove to someone.

"Not really much here either," I was cut off by a knock at the door. I walked up to see Ponyboy and Johnny standing there. They came in when I opened the door.

"Guys, this is my older brother Russ. Russ this is Ponyboy, and Johnny," I said pointing to them each.

They shook hands and sat down; I sat between Pony and Johnny on the couch. It seemed to stay silent for about 10 minutes, if it woulda been dark outside, I'm sure you coulda heard a cricket or two.

"Lynn, I'm going to head down to the diner, you kids wanna come?"

I looked from Johnny to Pony, and they both nodded, so we walked with him to the diner and found a seat. I sat next to Russ, and stared over at Johnny for a bit. I never noticed how innocent he looked, but I knew he wasn't innocent. I knew all the things he went through at home, I had been there too.

"So, you from Dallas too, Russ?" Pony's voice seemed to avert my thoughts.

"Yeah, just got back from New York though. Listen kids, Ima head out, I need to find someone," he looked at me, and I knew he was gonna go lookin for Dal. He was outta the door not seconds later, and Johnny found time to slide into the booth next to me.

"Your brother seems like a nice guy," Pony said.

"Only when someone hasn't pissed him off. Ya know, from what I've heard, he reminds me a lot like Dally."

Johnny looked my way, and Pony kept his eyes on the table in front of us.

"How bout we go see a movie guys? Think Darry would let ya since it's Friday and all?"

"I don't see why not," he looked back up at me, and I never saw eyes so full of hurt before.

We made our way back to the boys' house, but no one was home. So we sat in the living room, talking about books and movies. I was a hard kid, but somehow I loved the feeling of being taken away from this world. I got that feeling from reading, or watching movies. I was always one to watch a movie or two in a row; I could sit still long enough.

The door opened and in walked Dally, he eyed me for a second, then sat down in between me and Johnny on the couch.

"Two-Bits tellin' me Johnnycake here has a girl," he looked over at me.

"Well, Two-Bits wrong, you know how he is," said Johnny.

I never really thought about it, I'd be Johnny's girl. I had no problem in even think about that.

"Well, I don't know when your finally gonna get one kid, but I hope it's soon."


	6. Warm Kids

The next few weeks passed by rather quickly. Johnny had been coming over every night, and stole Russ's bed every night. Russ didn't mind though, he knew what was going on, after I told him. He told him he could have his bed, only if he stayed in school. I couldn't help but think that he was getting a little brotherly to Johnny. I knew Johnny knew it too, and he seemed to actually enjoy it. Russ has been hanging around Dally a lot lately, and I saw him on a regular basis now. I hung out with Pony a lot more then anyone besides Johnny. We went and saw movies together, did our homework together, and recommended books to one another. Pony and I were almost alike, we both loved to watch the sunset, and hated going to the movies with others, they'd never sit still enough for us.

I just got out of school, and I came home to find my mom completely trashed. I had seen her like this a lot since we left, and it had become a reminder of my dad.

"Where have you been, Lynn?" she asked her eyes flashing with what I thought to be anger.

"I was at school, ya know that," I sat down at the table.

I felt a hand across my face, and it didn't register for a couple of seconds before I realized she had slapped me. I stormed through the house, and ran out the door. I fell into Johnny, who seemed about to walk up the steps.

"Are you ok," he asked hanging onto me.

"No, Johnny, I'm not okay."

He searched my face, and I thought for a split second I was gonna break down. I didn't want to in front of him, but I almost thought I couldn't handle it, and a tear slid down my face. He wrapped an arm around me and guided me to the park. We sat in silence for awhile, neither of us had to talk, he already knew what was going on. A few hours had passed, and I felt myself dozing off in his arms still, and he let me, and I could hear his breathing slowing down.

I woke up some hours later, and Johnny was lying next to me, still asleep. After all the stuff he went through, he still resembled an angel. I didn't want to wake him up, but I knew I had to.

"Johnny," I nudged him slightly, "Johnny wake up, we gotta go now."

He sat up and rubbed his eyes, "what time is it?"

"I dunno, seems to be early in the morning."

He stood up and reached for my hand, "let's go to Pony's. I'm sure they'll let you sleep there."

We made our way to their door, and walked inside to find it basically dead. Dallas was sprawled out on the couch, and Two-Bit was asleep in the chair. Johnny lay down on the floor, then told me I could lay next to him, so I did. I fell asleep not long after that.

I woke up and I had Johnny's arm around me, and I could see Two-Bit smiling like a mad man.

"Here I thought you weren't Johnny's girl. I think you guys had me mistaken."

"Shove it, Two-Bit."

I slowly pulled his arm away from me, and I noticed someone had put a cover over us, I didn't want to wake him. I sat on the couch, that Dally had deserted and started watching Mickey Mouse with Two-Bit.

"Dallas woke up not too happy, and threw his cover over you guys," he said.

I just looked at him puzzled, "why?"

"He said Johnny looked cold, 'sides I don't think he really meant to be nice, ya know Dal."

I nodded and I heard the screen door open, and Dally walked inside.

"Have a nice sleep, kid?" he asked sitting down next to me.

"I think it was the best I've had in ages. He's a really warm kid."

"Yeah," was all he said, then headed for the kitchen.

I sat thinking to myself for a bit. Did I like Johnny? Did Johnny like me? I was starting to think I did, I mean he was always there, and somewhat like Pony he listened to me. He made me comfortable around almost anybody. I do like him, and I could never let him know. Emotions make things messy, and I'm not one for messy things.

"Join me for a smoke, I need to talk to you kid," Dally was now in front of me.

I nodded and we sat on the porch not saying anything for a bit. He had shut the front door, and I knew what he had to say, he didn't want anyone else to hear.

"You know, Russ got a place a few houses down, said you should go there. He knows what your mom did last night," he said taking a drag.

"How'd he find out?"

"Johnny told him last night, while you were asleep on the floor. I suggest you go stay with him, Johnny too."

I nodded, I really didn't know what I could say to a guy like Dallas Winston.

"I just know this, you better not hurt Johnny, he seems to like ya a lot."

"I won't, trust me," he smiled.

"I think I can, after all Russ is one of my best buddies, and he's one of the few I trust. You must be something to him, the way he talks about you. Here, you want a cancer stick?"

We smoked together and after a smoke or two, he and I walked back inside. Johnny was no longer on the floor, he was sitting on the couch with Pony. I sat between them, and looked over at Johnny, "hey, you wanna walk me home to get my stuff?"

He looked at me puzzled, "where ya goin'?"

"Ima stay with Russ, he has a place a few houses down, I bet it's somewhere between here and moms. Your staying too, so we gotta get your stuff too."

He looked down at his shoes, "Johnny, Ima go with you, don't worry."

He nodded and we walked down the street to my house and I packed all my things up in my bag. We went by Russ's and dropped it off there, and walked our way to Johnny's. He told me to wait outside, and he'd be back.

"No, I'm going in with you, if they do anything, I'll be there."

He gave a weak smile, and as soon as we were inside, I could smell the alcohol that was everywhere. There was a woman lying on the couch and I guessed she was Johnny's mom. We made it to his room, and then we heard the front door. He looked a bit frightened and threw his bag out the window, "we'll get it in a few, you should go out the window."

"No."

He shrugged and we walked back toward the front door, "this your slut Johnny?"

I already knew it musta been his dad, with a deep voice like that. Johnny didn't say anything a reached for the door handle.

"I said, boy, is this your slut?"

"No," his voice was barely above a whisper and he looked back at me.

I saw a hand fly across and grab his collar. I couldn't take it, and I whomped the guy something awful. Johnny and I belted out the door, and he quickly ran over and grabbed his bag, and we ran the rest of the way to Russ's. We didn't say anything as we sat on the old couch.

"I…I can't believe you did that. Now he's bound to kill me."

"You're here now, Russ will protect you, 'sides, what would Dallas do, if he killed you?"

He didn't say anything.

"Look, Johnny, it's ok that your scared, you just can't let it tear you down all the time."

He didn't say anything again, which I figured he was letting it sink in.

"I…I like you Lynn," he looked over at me, and gave a weak smile. He looked so nervous that I chuckled a bit.

"I like you too Johnny, and you're a greater person then you think you are."

"Thanks, would you…be my girlfriend?" he looked so nervous again.

"I'd love to be."


	7. Let's Talk About This

(A/N THERE IS A SLIGHT SEX SCENE, SORRY, HAD TO WARN YOU.)

The next few weeks passed by as quickly as the first ones did, and everyone was diggin' me and Johnny ok. Russ liked the boy a lot, and told me on more than one occasion, he was good for me. Pony was glad that Johnny had found someone to maybe bring him out of his funk. Two-Bit insisted he knew all along, and told us he told us so. Dally, on the other hand, never seemed to care around anyone. When he and I were alone, smoking or something, he told me to keep Johnny doing good, and to keep him out of trouble. I told him I always would.

Johnny and I had a date to go to the movies tonight, well really it wasn't a date. Pony was coming with, and I assumed Dallas would too. We sat down, and Two-Bit joined us not long after, hacked outta his mind. He was funny all the time, but he was extremely funny when he was wasted. I drank with Two-Bit a few times, I wasn't much of a drinker, I didn't want to turn out like my parents, and everyone understood so they never pressured me.

"So, I was talkin' to this broad over there, she did like Lynn here, said I wasn't her type, can you believe..."

I cut him off, "I can believe that."

Pony, Johnny and Dallas chuckled a bit, and I smiled the biggest grin ever.

"I knew you would dig ok baby, the first day I saw you in school."

"Yeah yeah, and that's why you couldn't sit still in class."

"It was, now, as I was sayin' she was a soc, and she liked my sideburns…"

It trailed off, and I found myself engrossed in the movie. It was some beach one, I thought it funny to be showing beach movies in the winter.

The night ended quickly, and we dropped Ponyboy off at home, and Johnny and I walked down to our house. It was weird saying our house, but we had both been staying there for a month. Russ got some job, and was paying bills. Dallas moved in not long after, he had some money and helped Russ out. He never said it was because of Johnny, but no one needed to ask. No one even dared to ask Dally that stuff. He wasn't someone you went to with problems, and I knew that from the get-go.

I lay down in my bed, which now Russ decided I was adult enough to share with Johnny. It's not like he didn't sneak in and cuddle with me. I guess Russ just didn't seem to mind anymore. Johnny crawled in beside me, but he kept sitting up.

"I want to talk to you Lynn."

I sat up to meet his gaze, "what about?"

He didn't say anything then his lips were on mine. I had never kissed anyone and I never knew what it was like. He put his hand on my neck, and we started making out. He laid me slowly on the bed, and he somehow got on top of me, our mouths never leaving each other. I pulled him closer to me, so he was laying on top of me.

"Are you sure, I don't want to do anything you don't want to do."

"I'm sure Johnnycake, I'm really sure."

I pulled his shirt off, and he pulled mine off too, so we lay shirtless on each other. His eyes roamed my body, as he sat up between my legs. I went to unbutton his pants, and he pulled my hands away.

"I want to remember how you look, just like this, always."

He put my hands above my head, and unbuttoned my pants and sent them to the floor. I didn't move, I didn't want him to say something else, I just wanted to feel him.

There I lay naked, my skin blending with peach sheets on my bed.

"Your so beautiful Lynn, I hope you know that," and he was on top of me again, and I noticed his pants were on the floor.

"Johnny," I turned his head to face me, and I saw the blush on his face.

"You're the greatest boy I've ever known, and I'm glad I'm going to do this with you."

He smiled, "I'm glad too, I…"

I cut him off with my lips, and we continued to kiss for awhile. He made everything so gentle, and it went by so fast.

We lay next to each other sweating, and he rolled over to face me, and put his arm across my stomach.

"I love you," he whispered in my ear.

"I love you too," I whispered back.

He kissed my ear and we decided to go to sleep.


	8. Big Brothers Always Leave

I woke up and quickly found my clothes on the floor and put them on. Johnny was still asleep, and he still reminded me of an angel. I took a shower, and noticed Russ must be at work. I walked into the living room, and Dallas was sitting there smoking a caner stick.

"Busy night last night, kid?" he lifted an eyebrow my way.

"Not really, came home, went to sleep."

"Sure," he lifted another eyebrow, "I'm not stupid, kid."

How the hell did he know? Was he listening? I didn't think Dally was that perverted.

"You're a perv, Dally."

"I'm not, I just heard it, you musta made him feel real good about you, to get him to get that close to ya."

Great, now he's gonna tell someone, probably Two-Bit. Now, everyone and their mom will know.

"Don't worry, Two-Bit was here, I'm pretty sure it's gotten to the guys already."

"I need a smoke," I said digging in Johnny's jacket for his pack which I did not find. Dally leaned in the doorway holding a smoke out to me, so I took it and joined him on the porch.

"Hope you kids were careful, we don't need no babies around here."

We sat in silence the rest of the time, and Johnny eventually joined us, which to his surprise Dally was asking him how the night went. He just blushed somethin' fierce and looked at his shoes while smoking.

Johnny and I headed to Pony's already expecting the guys to ask questions. We didn't even make it up the steps before Two-Bit came out cracking jokes about us. He was makin' horrible moanin' noises, and I felt like I could punch him in the face. Dally walked up and told him to cool it, so he did. Pony was the first one to get Johnny alone. I felt like I was being watched while the rest of the guys kept looking at me, and nodded to each other.

"Whats you guys' problem?" I almost screamed.

Soda snapped his head up, and Steve just looked away. Dallas sat coolly at the other end of the couch, looking off into space. Two-Bit had already left, I suspect to hunt some action.

"Nothin'" Soda said.

"I'm outta here, I don't need guys degrading me for loving someone!" I yelled and covered my mouth.

"You what?" oh shit, Dally sounded pissed.

"You love Johnny?" I could now see Pony at the kitchen doorway.

"Yes, I do love Johnny, I told him last night."

I saw something I couldn't register in Dally's eyes, and then I darted out the door, heading for home. I was a good ways away, when I heard a pair of feet pounding the ground. I felt a hand slip into mine, and I looked over to see Johnny.

"I told them, I told them I love you too."

I smiled and he did too, finally we were out in the open, but I was always told to not get emotions. I guess, I didn't always follow Russ in those ways. I was better then him. We got home, and I knew it'd be a long night. Russ hadn't showed up which I thought was odd, and there was a knock at the door.

I opened it to reveal two cops, and I immediately thought Russ was into some deep shit.

"Is there a Mrs. Rhodes here?"

I shook my head, I always kept my trap shut in front of cops.

"Who're you then?"

"I'm Lynn Rhodes, I'm the youngest."

"We have some news on your brother Russell Jay," he said taking the clipboard from the other officer.

Great, he must be in some deep shit.

"What'd he do now?"

"He was shot this morning, he passed away earlier this afternoon."

No, this can't be happening. This can't be what my life is supposed to be about. Jerry died, Russ was there. Russ is dead, who is here now?

"Thank you," I mumbled trying not to cry. They headed down the steps and got in their car and drove away. Johnny had left when we got home to go somewhere with Dallas. I knew he wasn't going to be back for awhile. I grabbed my smokes, and ran all the way to Pony's house. Soda was sitting on the couch, and he was the first person to see me. I launched myself at him, bawling my eyes out.

"What happened?" he asked stroking my hair, letting me soak his shirt through.

"Russ, he's….he's…he's…gone. He got shot," I choked through sobs.

Soda just held me, and then I felt more arms around me as Pony got me to sit between them. I cried for awhile, then I felt my eyes getting heavy and fell asleep in Soda's arms.


	9. I want you to always be safe

JOHNNY'S POV

Dallas and I walked back to Pony's I told him I wanted to go get Lynn, but he wouldn't let me walk by myself, and he had something to say to Darry. We got to the steps, and Pony came outside quickly, scaring me a bit.

"Russ died, Lynn's been here for awhile now, crying."

He didn't need to say anything else, and I made my way inside faster then I thought. Soda was holding her, and he told me to be quiet that she was finally asleep. I just stared at her, she looked so peaceful. I sat on the other side of her carefully, and Soda tilted her my way.

"My arm was going to sleep," he said.

I just nodded and put her head in my lap. Her face was turned up facing me, and I could tell she had cried a lot, her eyes were red, and her face seemed a little stained. I put a hand on her cheek, then tucked her hair behind her head, so I could see her better. She looked so beautiful, even with everything that had happened lately, she seemed so at peace. I don't know when it was that I dozed off, but when I woke up, she wasn't there anymore. I looked around, and Dally wasn't here, and Two-Bit was passed out at the table. I looked at the clock, it was about 4 am. I figured she might be outside smoking. I walked out the door and she wasn't there. I looked over toward the park and saw her outline on the monkey bars. I made my way over there and climbed up next to her.

"I'm sorry I left Johnny, I shoulda woke you up and told you I was leaving," she said taking a drag of her smoke and handing it to me.

"It's okay, I understand. So, what are you gonna do now? I don't want you moving back in with your mom."

I looked at her, and saw a small smile on her face, "I'm not sure, it's the only place I have to stay here, unless I want to go back to Dallas and live with my aunt."

I looked at her and took her hand in mine, "as long as you promise me you'll come back."

"I'm still not sure what to do, what would you do?"

I couldn't believe someone was asking me for advice, which is not what everyone does. I had to think, if she left, I'd have no one, and I'd be back where I started. I just wanted her to be safe, away from all of this stuff.

"I'd go to Dallas, your aunt isn't like your mom or dad, right?"

"Not at all, she's one of the sweetest women in the world."

"Well, I just want you to be safe, and not have to worry about anything."

We sat in silence for a bit, and she kept my hand in hers, I'd lift it up every once in awhile and kiss her fingers. I'm in love with this girl, and I have to let her go. The only person I ever found that made me better, understood what I was going through. I guess it's my turn to help her out.

We left the park that night after another long talk about what she should do. I kept insisting that she go to her aunts, but I knew she didn't want to leave me, not at all. We got to the Curtis house and Darry was already asleep. Soda and Steve were out on a date, Two-Bit and Dal were out huntin' some action. We sat down with Pony and talked for awhile. She told him about her leaving, and called her aunt. She was out of the room for awhile, and Pony and I just got bored with the silence.

"She's really leaving, huh?" he asked.

"I told her she should, I want to make sure she's safe. She's not safe with her mother, and definitely not safe with her dad."

"It's gonna hurt a lot ya know?"

"I know."

She came back into the room, and told me her aunt was already on her way up here. She left us and went to pack all her things. Dally came by and asked what was happenin' so I told him what was gonna go down. He didn't seem so upset, but then again, I'm the one in love with her, not him.


	10. I'll miss you forever

JOHNNY'S POV

I saw headlights and the pretty girl with the red hair coming to me. She wrapped her arms around me tightly, so tight that I thought she would never let go. I just held her for awhile. Soda and Steve showed up to say bye, and she hugged everyone including Darry and Two-Bit. While she stood in front of Dally, she just muttered a thanks to him. He wrapped his arms around her neck, and for the first time we all saw Dally show emotion. It was true, he was sad that she was leaving, and he let it show.

"I'll miss ya kid, make sure to write Pony here, he'll read it to us all."

"Ima miss you too, Dally."

She stood in front of me, and we walked out onto the porch so we could be by ourselves.

"I'm going to miss you Johnnycake," she had a tear roll down her cheek.

I swiped it away with my hand, "I'm going to miss you too. I just know that if you love someone enough, you want them to be safe always. I want you to be safe always. You sometimes have to let go of things or people you love, so you can understand life more. I think when you come back, Ill be the same guy, just more grown up."

She wrapped her arms around me again, and I nuzzled my face into her neck.

"I love you so much, Johnny Cade."

"I love you too, Lynn Rhodes."

She let go, then looked at me for what I knew was the last time, and turned on her heel. I held onto her hand for as long as I could, but now she's gone, leaving dust behind the car.

I walked back inside and everyone seemed to be off in their own world, thinking about things. I missed her already, and I wish I could chase after her, and tell her that I didn't want her to go. I wanted to tell her that I'll never meet anyone like her ever again. I'd tell her, I never want to meet anyone else, and that she's the only one for me.

"I already miss her," I said aloud. Everyone just stared over at me with sympathy, sympathy that I didn't need or want.

"I do too Johnny," everyone looked over at Dallas.

He had his arms crossed, leaned against the kitchen doorway. We didn't dare ask why he cared. I went to sleep that night on Pony's floor, and I dreamt of her.

The last couple of days came and went in a blur, and I found myself, moving in with Dal at Buck's. He insisted that I not go back to the house, and I understood why. I sat on the edge of the bed, and he came in the door holding some eggs on a plate shoving it toward me.

"He Dal, can I ask you something?"

He nodded, pulling a cancer stick out and putting it up to his lips.

"Why'd you care so much about Lynn?" If anyone else woulda asked that question Dally woulda stomped 'em. I wasn't just anyone; I was like his kid brother.

"I watched Russ die. He wanted me to take care of her, I knew how much she meant to him. I knew how much she meant to Jerry too."

It was odd for Dally to pick up on someone's feelings, I mean he had none of his own, or so people thought.

"Is that the only reason?"

He sighed heavily, then sat on the bed next to me, "Johnny, look at me," I did.

"You only get one chance in your life to care about someone more then yourself. I may not be an emotional type of guy, but I know and sense what other people close to me feel. Lynn, she made you so happy, Johnny. For the first time since I met you all those years ago, you had a permanent smile on your face. She made you forget about all the stuff that happened to you, because she knew it all too well herself. I guess, I care about her, because you love her. You became like the little brother I never had. I guess…I love you in that way."

He looked away quickly, I had never in my life heard Dallas say anything that made a lot of sense like that did.

"I love you too, Dally."

"I know kid, I know."

That night seemed to end quickly, and the days turned into weeks. Weeks turned right into months. She never called, and I sometimes felt like she wanted to avoid all that happened here. I didn't blame her, but I just wanted to make sure she was okay. She never wrote Pony either, and he seemed to be a little sad about it. All the guys missed her somethin' awful, but I was the main one that missed her, and I had a feeling I'd miss her forever.

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Does anyone else smell a sequel?


	11. Note from the Author

I wanna thank you for the reviews, and whatnot.

I finally got the sequel up and running...it's called

Remembering What Once Was

I hope you like it and review it too.


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